PARENT: Sister Jackie Adams (Deliverance Temple)

Interviewed by: Sister Lilly Boyd

 

Q: Can you give a few suggestions for how to raise children the biblical way? 
A: Some suggestions on how to raise children the bible way would be to raise them in the Lord. Be consistent. This means you fervently praise God at church and continue to be an example to your children with praising and serving God the same way at home if not more. Since children are like sponges, make sure they soak up the Holy Scriptures and let them know and learn the essence of the bible. 

Q: Are there any methods that you received from others in the church, that have worked with raising your children?  Are there any methods that were flawed?
A: Being a hairstylist it took much of my time. The mind started to really think about family. God touched me to talk to a mother. Thoughts were to start shortening my work schedule for time with my children when they begin their teenage years. After communicating with a mother, she instructed me that I should do that while they were young. After thinking about it the mind clicked, since the bible says to bring up a child in the way they should go I should start now.  So after listening to that mother, coming home off the job to raise my children the right way worked. The True Church methods of raising my children have no flaws.

 

Q: What teaching method (Tactics, strategies) have you used to help guide your children to Christ?
A:  Some of the methods used to guide my children to Christ are first showing them by example how important it is to serve God. They had to see me being alert during service and reading my bible at home. At the same time they had to see me obeying my husband so that they will have no other options to obeying me. Another strategy is we used is to not see their parents arguing so that they would not have to argue or fight with their siblings or others.

 

Q: Can you provide ways to help strengthen the relationship between parents and children? 
A: A way to strengthen the relationship between my children is communication. Sometimes what children do is kind of childish to an adult but the adult can win a child by appearing to be interested in what a child is doing. Talk, not talk at them talk with them; ask them how was their day. What did they do and how did they come to that decision in doing this. It teaches them process which is a part of nurturing.

Q: What can parents do to get children to perform to their highest potential?
A: Build them by saying things like, you are so beautiful or you did a great job cleaning your room or etc. Encourage them to reach for the highest by relating to some of the things you have gone through to get to a high point in your life.

 

Q: Were you a strict, over protective or well balanced parent? 
A: Because of whom my parents are and the church structure is a must in order to get to what my child need. They thought that they were brought up in a strict and over protective environment. I felt I was just being a caring mother.

 

Q: Do you think parents that are strict cause children to become rebellious?
A: Being zealous can make a child rebel. To be a child of God a person must be strict or discipline. Being strict can help a child with maintaining consistency or growing up the right way. 

Q: What do you think is too strict?
A: Being too strict is selfish. My children may think that I am too strict if I wouldn’t allow them to do something like communicate with a rowdy person. I think that it is looking into their future by developing them to not be a part of the wrong company.    

Q: How did you help your children deal with peer pressure?
A: Often we tell our children to don’t worry about this person or not worry about that person, we also should teach our children how not to give into peer pressure by thinking the right way. We teach them when the pressure arrives to think about the consequences of their doings.  

Q: How did you teach discipline?  How did you discipline disobedient or unruly children?  
A: All my children have different personalities. Discipline had to be done according to their personality so therefore I had to learn my child in order to give the most productive discipline. While taking things from one child, the other child just needed a good hard talking which made their heart turn to tears.  My discipline to an unruly child is give them more attention rather it may be the belt are hours of lecturing. Lecturing is the most my children found to be the worst in discipline measures.

Q: Were there parents that you observed or admired while raising your children?  A: I observed my parents when it came to raising my children.  

Q: What did you observe and admire.  
A: While society called a good rod whopping “ABUSE” I call it, “RIGHT”. I look at how society was when I was younger and how things look now when the rod are restricted in the world’s law. “The law is teaching to go against the rod when the bible teaches us not to spare it. Whopping is not always the best method. I feel in order to get the best results in a child, going the bible way will get things done.

Q: Do your children appreciate you now that they are older?
A: I would say when their minds became mature they started to appreciate my tactics.  

 

Q: Do you think the “church community” plays an important role with raising children? 
A: Since corrupt communication affects good manners, I would think so.

 

Q: What age would you say is the most challenging age for parents and children?
A:  The most challenging age is 10 for boys and teenage years for girls. 
Bringing up a child in the way of God really helps. My husband communicated to me that he wanted to have a boy child. I agreed and soon afterwards a fetus started to develop. God touched me to nurture that child from the womb. I had heard stories of a baby in the womb having senses and that they knew what was going on. So I put their words to action. I started reading the bible to the fetus everyday and when I fasted I would rub oil unto my womb and head. I was touched to talk to the fetus the procedures and process of the True Church.  When the choir sings to stand up and support them;  When there is devotional service to be a participant; When the preacher is preaching to pay attention and support him etc.  I talked to him about being in the wrong crowd.  I truly didn’t want any of my children in a violent gang so I worked on them not doing such. I believe if you don’t want a child to do something you have to teach them. I was touched to give my child a bible name so I searched the bible for a name and while reading God touched me again saying that this child would be very spiritual and that he would touch people lives. Since my husband name started with “G” I looked for “G” names and read about how that person had touched many lives. I read all the scriptures known about that person and made my final decision. I communicated to my husband about it and it was agreed to name him. When the child was born It was a must that Bishop Lucas held him to make everything complete. That was according to my faith. A mother told me that that child would be a minister and more children that were born around that time would be ministers. I could only agree due to my foreseen facts. When the child was born I decided to mostly talk to him and not allow him to watch much television. I was to continue his process of bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the story goes on.

 

CHILD: Sister Sherika Stafford (Deliverance Temple)

 

Q: Do you know of any methods that can help strengthen the relationship between children and their parents?
A: The method that I used to strengthen my relationship with my parents was to make sure I stayed in close contact with them. I enjoy talking to them about my encounters so that I ensure that I am making wise and educated decisions.
 
Q: What teaching methods (tactics/strategies) did your parent use on you to guide you to Christ?
A: When it came down to church, living in Elder and Sister Gregory Adams, Sr. house there was a strict rule that you attend church. We received both positive and negative reinforcement in our eyes at the time. For example: My mother would tell us, "You live in my house and you go to church when church is going on." My dad had a more subtle way he would wake us up on Sunday morning singing "Rise shine give God the glory " then if you didn't answer with either an "I'm up", "yes sir" , or the other lyrics to that song, he would come into the room and tickle us until we got up. As a young child, when we got to church, we had to participate in one of the auxiliary programs. We had to follow the preacher in the bible while he was up teaching us.  When we got out of church my mother would ask us what we learned, and if we were able to tell her an answer, we would get a treat of some sort; i.e. ice cream cone, candy, or a snack from a convenient store.  As we grew older, we would ask our parents what time they planned to leave for church, and then when we started driving we would ask who was riding with us and leave. If mom didn't see you at church, she would ask one of our siblings where you were, and if she didn't get an answer, she would text you, “get to church.” When we got home, mom or dad would give you a lashing both verbally and physically to show that church was more important than whatever we had going on.

 

Q: What did you admire the most about your parent(s)?
A: I admire how my parents learned to talk to us individually and give each one of us the things that we needed both naturally and spiritually. I admire how my parents taught us how to be bold and confident and what we believe in. I admire my parents for believing in us even when we didn't believe in ourselves. I admire my parents for wanting the best for us and instilling in us the importance of God, family, and education. With both my parents working, my mom was told to keep us involved in the church-meaning that you had to be a singer, musician, or usher and it had to be whole-hearted and no half-stepping. My dad was told to whip with a switch not a belt.

 

Q: Are there any methods you know of that were provided to your parents that worked? Are there any methods that were flawed?
A: The only flaw that I experienced, were times that I had to sing when I didn't want to and the times I had to play the tambourine. I would get tired sometimes, but mom would tell me not to stop.

 

Q: Were your parents lenient, strict, over protective, or well-balanced as you were growing up? Did it changed as you got older?
A:  My mom was strict on me as a child but as I got older, things balanced out, and she started talking to me more and more and allowing me to do more things. My mom explained how she grew up and how she learned from the things she experienced growing up. She taught me the importance of responsibility, and she taught me the real meaning of being a women. My dad was lenient and over protective. Being the oldest and a daddy's girl, he didn't want me to get into too much but at the same time, he didn't want to hold me back either. I didn't get many whippings from my father, so essentially I would say he was lenient. He would allow me to go out, but I had to be home early. When it came down to guys and dating, he would have to talk to the guy before we went out and the guy had to ask my dad for permission to take me out. As far as going to church, my parents did not have to get on me much because I saw the importance of God in my life at an early age.  I believe going to church kept me from a lot of trials and turmoil. Overall, as a child, I thought that my parents were strict or over protective, but as an adult, I see the benefits of their strictness and protectiveness.

 

Q: Do you believe the reason some children become rebellious is because their parents were too strict?
A:  I believe that sometimes children rebel because their parents were too strict on them. However, I believe that if their parents communicate with their children and explain the reasons  why they are being strict, then the child might not rebel.

 

Q: Do you appreciate your parents more, now that you are older?
A: I appreciate my parents SO MUCH. They have been there for me throughout my whole life. I know that there were times when I did things that they may not have been proud of, but they welcomed me home and did not cast me out. Some people tell me that I am spoiled, but I tell them that I earned that.  For example, when I was 12 years old, I would come home from school and do my homework, my chores, and start cooking dinner without being told.  I was taught to how to be the person that I have become today. I was taught that when my siblings are in trouble, to talk to them. I was taught that when my husband gets home, give him honor, respect, and get off the phone. I was taught to teach the children to greet their dad when he comes home. From experience, there is nothing like being welcomed home to your castle. I was taught to cook a hot meal for my husband and to make sure I prepare his plate—that makes that man feel like he is a KING. I was taught the importance of working together in my marriage as it will ensure a peaceful home. I appreciate my parents for all of those lessons, examples, and more. I love both of them and know that without them, my life would be a hard task.

 

Q: How important was it to talk to your parents?
A: I have seen the importance of communication my entire life. When I was a child my parents would play a game similar to treasure hunt with us. My parents would hide a treat: candy, clothes, money, etc., and we had to find the treat, but in order to find it, we had to listen for the “hot or cold” clues.  For example, if you were hot, then you were close to the treat, and if you were cold, you were far away from the treat. I remember as an adolescent, my mom would be extremely strict on me, and a lot of times I would go to bed upset and angry at my life. Then one day I went to my mom and as her, "Why are you so hard on me?" she explained to me that she didn't want me to make the same mistakes as she did. At that moment I began to understand my mother and what she experienced in her life. I explained to my mom what I wanted and what my plans and goals were for my life. I explained to her that I wanted to be a good child, and I wanted to help my family become even closer. I explained to her how I planned to achieve my goals, and from that moment on, she stopped being so hard on me and we started to just talk about the issues.

 

Q: How important was it for your parents to trust you?  I believe, trust is something that you earn and if you lose it, you have to do a lot to prove that you deserve to be trusted again. Trust has to be developed with a child and the child has to trust their parents. Trust is important because without it you won't be able to do many activities that you really want to do. As a teenager without trust your life can be very boring. Instead of being able to go to the mall on a Friday or Saturday, you have to be at home because your parents feel that they can’t trust you to be where you said you'd be. As a child you have to be able to trust your parents to do what they say that they are going to do also.

 

Q: How important is it for parents to talk to their children about sex, drugs, or violence?
A:  It is very important for parents to talk to their children about sex, drugs, and violence because many of us are hearing about these things from our classmates. My parents told us that sex wasn't what we read in books and it wasn't what our classmates make it out to be. They told us that sex was something that you share with the one you marry. Drugs was a topic that we discussed by example. Since we had relatives that were on drugs, and who smoked and drank, we learned quickly that we did not want to be like them or look like them. We saw for ourselves what a person teeth looks like when they smoke. We saw what happens to a person when they drink a lot.  Also, my parents told us, if we ever got into trouble, we were to find an adult that could help us solve the problem without being violent. We were taught that violence only makes things worse and does not solve anything. So I raise the question "Can’t we all just get along?"