By : Elders Gary Battle, Vista Jeffries & Emmitt Robinson Jr.

 

The True Church of God in Christ has been instructing parents over the years to train their children in the way that they should go.  This is what should be done according to the scriptures, but one may be left with the question of how to fulfill this great task. As we explore the topic of raising children the Bible way, we would like to discuss time, interest, resources, and discipline in raising children.

 

One of the essential things a parent needs in order to raise a child is time. It takes time to train a child in the way he/she should go, as we are instructed by the scripture. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov 22:6). This could be understood to be saying train up a child in the design in which he was built. Every child is different and it is up to the parent to understand the design of each child to train them in that design. For instance, if you have three boys, they may not be all interested in the same things. One may be academically inclined and another may work well with his hands. It takes time spent with the child to discern which design they are of and to train that child in the way he should go. There should be time spent with children because often lessons are “caught” rather than “taught.”  We should take the time to train our children in the way of the Lord as it was taught to the children of Israel in Deuteronomy:  Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words which I command thee shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down , and when thou risest up (Deut 6:4-7). As Deuteronomy suggests, time must be spent to teach a child the ways of the Lord.

 

Another key ingredient in rearing children is interest or desire, both on the part of the parent and the part of the child.  A child may show interest or have a desire to be close to the parents.  In this case, a parent may teach and engage that child on many levels.  It is much easier to talk and communicate when there are common desires or interest. On the other hand, if the child shows little or no interest or desire to engage their parents, it is the responsibility of the parents to find ways to communicate and engage that child. The parent must show interest or desire to incorporate that child’s desires or opinions into some activity that brings a level of trust. By doing this, the desires of the heart are revealed and training/guidance can take place. 

Another necessary factor in understanding our responsibility to our children is having the necessary resources in place.  This process must take place even before children are on the scene.  That is to say, time and interest must be given to prepare for the future of our children’s education and living conditions.  These resources are essential to creating a healthy environment in which we began to mold and shape their thinking. We must have the means, (money, contacts, community, etc.) in place. 
One of the best ways to gain correct information and formulate a proper plan is to be a parent who is grounded in God’s Word. Parents should be planted in the church community so that their base of support is broadened and the burden is shared by their entire community. This will allow the parent to be taught and nurtured in the Word while teaching and nurturing their child. The scripture teaches the father to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4).

Our children must be disciplined. We live in a time where discipline for our children is almost outlawed. You can visit your local shopping stores and see children out of control and parents who are embarrassed and afraid to correct their children. Some would say love would not allow parents to chastise their children, but the scripture teaches otherwise.  The scripture teaches us that the Lord chastens and scourges every son whom He receives (Heb 12:6). To scourge is to punish or criticize severely. As a parent scourges and chastens a child, the parent should do this in love and not strife. Correction should never be given in anger, for anger in the parent stirs up anger in the child. Apostle Paul wrote to the fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (Col 3:21). There is a balance that must be achieved for we know that correction and discipline will not feel good.  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (Prov 13:24). A child should be chastened early, while there is time for correction.

In conclusion, raising children is a not a task that should be taken lightly. An ample amount of time should be spent teaching and talking to our children. Parents may have to deny themselves to show interest in their children. Resource should be set aside and prepared for our children. Parents should not neglect to discipline their children. We have only scratched the surface with these points, but we do have some beautiful examples of parent children relationships in the True Church.

 

Click below to read the different interviews

Mother Lilly M. Stafford and Daughter Tonya

Sister Ramona Murphy and daughter Andrea

Sister Vevelyn Turner and daughter Natalie

Elder Emmitt Robinson, Jr. with Son Emmitt III and Daughter Calandra

Sister Jaqueline Adams and Daughter Sherika