Written By: Sister Lilly Boyd

 

There was much nervous excitement and anticipation as True Church members gathered in the fellowship center, decorated with balloons and table cloths, for the first True Church Marriage Seminar: “Strengthening Your Marriage for Life.”  Elder Vista Jeffries of Chattanooga, TN and Elder Dennis Jeffries of Covington, GA. coordinated and facilitated the seminar. It consisted of various formats including lectures, testimonies, worksheets, surveys,  skits performed by members of the Hutchinson family, and games facilitated by Sister Lisa Lemons. As participants from all over Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, entered the location, they greeted one another and waited for the coordinators to begin the program. Strangely enough, many participants carried a singular shoe with various numbers of shoestring holes.  We used these shoes during an exercise on communication, and later, we played our own version of the “Newlywed Game.” Both games were very interactive and exciting. For the shoelace game, couples had to untie and unlace the shoe and then lace and tie it again using only one of their hands. Many of us worked hard to get this task done first, but the first couple to complete this task was Brother Isaiah and Sister Tonette Lemons. Following the shoe lace game was the Newlywed Game. This game was definitely filled with a lot of laughter. The game consisted of six couples at different stages of marriage, i.e. from 0-10 years to those married 30+ years, answering questions regarding how well they know their spouses. I think we all did well, but the winner of this game was Deacon Irvin Boyd, Jr. and Sister Karina Boyd.

 

The goals of the seminar were both to provide and to reinforce skills to produce a marriage true to marriage vows full of joy and satisfaction.  In short, the leaders intended to provide information to produce excellent marriages. What follows is a few of the practical tips offered to the couples in the areas of Communication, Friendship, Finances, Parenting, Conflict Resolution, and Intimacy.

 

1. Topics identified in the area of communication were: How to be an Active Listener and How to Identify your Love Language. The five languages were identified as:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality time
• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Physical Touch

Once these Love languages were addressed by Elder Vista Jeffries, the couples had an opportunity to determine their love language. Skits on each love language were demonstrated by members of the Hutchinson family.

 

 

2. Friendship is important in marriage because it can keep two people together.  The coordinators explained how to maintain or have a friendship with your spouse. The following tips were provided:           

• Refresh your marriage by doing some of the same things you were doing when you were dating
• Remain courteous with each other
• Reminisce on the good times
• Practice talking to each other and not at each other

3. The area of finances produced exciting topics, such as investing, saving, spending, retirement, and banking. Some of the highlights provided to couples in this area were:

• Know your credit score
• Find ways to manage your debt
• Make “budgeting “ or saving money fun
• Become debt free and live like nobody else
• Know how much money you are bringing in, how much you owe, and how much you can spend

4. Elder Vic and Elder Jones also offered some enlightening tips on parenting. They suggested that spouses:

• Agree on how you are going to raise your children
• Listen to each other’s suggestions, but take responsibility for your decisions
• Discipline your children, but in love and support
• Make sure your children know that they can depend on you

5. According to Elder Battle, Elder Robinson Jr., and Elder Vic Jeffries in order for effective communication and conflict resolution to occur, couples must do the following:

• Seek resolution— understand, compromise and agree to disagree
• Use assertive communication—speak feelings in a respectful manner
• Understand your spouse perspective
• Focus on the issue and not personal attacks
• Make sure you’re talking about the same things
• Get in touch with your feelings

Essentially, the couples were told that they need to know what their main objective is.  Is it to be right or to have a happy home? Pick your battles.

6. Lastly, couples were provided with very illuminating ways on how to cultivate intimacy in their marriages. Some of the topics addressed in this area were:

• Emotional intimacy
• Physical intimacy
• Sexual intimacy

Spouses learned that if they do whatever it takes to please their spouse, their marriage can not fail.

 

To conclude our first Marriage Seminar, Bishop Jeffries gave closing remarks about how informative and enjoyable the seminar was. After his remarks, the wives presented their husbands with a single rose and the spouses saluted each other with a kiss. The coordinators and others are looking forward to future marriage seminars as it was filled with lots of humor and practical insights based on sound biblical principals.

 

Click here to make a comment on the Marriage Seminar.

 

Below is a video that was shown.

Composed by Deacon Terry Jeffries. Enjoy!